Sunday, August 31, 2014

the events of our lives are like something out of a cheesy christian novel.
though this novel is still being written.
what i have been pondering is whether or not to publish on this blog the horrible things said about me. the emails from "brothers/sisters" in the Lord. one of them basically thanking us for not going to their church any more.
you may be able to tell all ready that I need to forgive.
what i would like to do is just give a recap of what has happened since my last real blog entry here. with the focus being primarily on the past few months and weeks.
what i wont and cannot do is name any particular person/church.

in 2011 3 things were removed from my/our lives (i say "our" because my kids are included)
1. my wife of 17 years
2. my job of 7 years
3. our home of 14 years

4 kids, no home, no job
managed to keep it together through public assistance, church help, unemployment, and the occasional part time job.
God is, has been and always will be good.

i am making a long story very short. maybe i will write a book one day.
the choice was made to move in a lousy, three bedroom apartment in Nashua. i did this so my kids would be within walking distance of their mom.
I finally got a decent paying job in March of this year 2014. was only there 3 months and was laid off.
part of it was lack of work, but truth be told... i am not firing on all cylinders and am praying for the Lord to restore my mind, stamina and lift me from the fog of battle that has been the past couple years.
when i was let go in May, it went downhill fast.
My former landlord was charging me $5.00 a day late fees. there was no recovering from this.

the eviction process was rather quick. we ended up in a "transitional" housing. it is a decent program but still
very humbling and difficult. especially for my kids who have already been through enough.

 here is where is gets difficult to talk about.

for the past 6-7 years i have been attending a church i loved. these people had known my X and I and probably saved my life.
but the distance and the time to travel started becoming an issue.
so, i found a church closer to home in May, though i still consider this other church my "home"
i sought help from people of both churches. let my needs be known 2+ weeks in advance. just boots on the ground type of help... people, boxes, trucks, ect.
the pastor of the new church completely ignored my request... it was heartbreaking to have something offered, call to accept the offer and then ignored completely.  i know some would want to question or debate this part... but i am telling you the truth.
the other group was supposed to announce and organize.  no-one ever called me, asked for more details or updated me.
moving day came.... 2 guys with a small pickup showed up with only an hour to spare.
if it were not for another brother who just happened to show up i would have been totally screwed.
everything depended on this day... this move... this promised group of volunteers.
so to say i was angry is in understatement.
I decided i would find an "anonymous"  venue to vent my frustrations. i should have just came here and not on FB.
one guy knew me on this forum and decided to chastise me (he was right on some points)
but before i knew it i was getting nasty PM's. "how dare you" bla bla bla
i was also getting unexpected sympathy from others in the forum.
people started offering me money. i didnt ask, it was not my intention.... but it seemed that the Lord was placing me on the hearts of some people. and lets face.... i do need the help
i thought the responsible thing to do was to give the address of my church so that people would know that I and the situation was real and truthful.
what happened next was beyond my ability to control
I got more angry PM's from some in my church that i mentioned the church secretary's name.  stupid of me i know... i just wasnt sure how to handle offers of help from strangers.
so... not only did i remove the post, but i deleted my FB because it was such a source of trouble that I just didnt know how to handle.... i have enough on my plate.
the next thing ya know... i am accused of running a scam, or stealing.
it was horrible. and to make matters worse my daughter.... who has had a phony FB account to "spy" on her mom... saw me distraught, knew everything that was going on and decided she would defend me online.
that did not go too well.
some of these people in this "christian" forum are awful.
i even gave my phone number and the number of my church was posted as well
did you know that people are saying that these perfectly valid numbers are fake?!?! no-one even bothered to call and validate. like a frenzy they all just fed a lie amongst themselves.
yes... i am from Nigeria and have this elaborate scam.
the truth is. i live in a shelter with my 2 youngest children. my older son is with his brother and my beloved dogs are in a shelter.
i need a job, a better vehicle and a new church closer to us.
this is the truth. this is where we are at now.
most of all, we need prayer, love and grace from those who claim to know Him.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Wed. Aug 27 lol

I decided to attempt to "reopen" this blog. funny thing though... the exact date/day as my last entry. pretty humorous coincidence.
boy do i have a story to tell... a church mindset to reveal... confessions of my own to disclose.
let me gather my thoughts in the next few days and share them here

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

pearls, swine, dogs, blogs and the last word

Mathew 7:6 : Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

If there was ever a scripture to describe christian blogging...this is it!

i think it is interesting that Jesus mentioned the fact that the swine and dogs can destroy you.

when it comes to human wisdom...the theories of unredeemed creatures... they will and can rip Christians to shreds.

this is not admitting that they have all the facts and we are believing something non-defensible,

it is simply acknowledging the fact that unless God causes their hearts of stone to be softened

they will rely on godless intellect. you can make argument after argument and any good point you can make will be ignored. straw men... vague philosophies ...unproven theories... these are just some of the life preservers that are used by God haters.

they will take you round and round and as long as they ignore their conscience they can and will not be convinced

1 Corinthians 1:18 - For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God

i have been in debates with vegetarians, atheists, name it.

funny thing is a lot of them think they are Christians!!!!

you have to resist the temptations to always have the last word. you will not win, you will not

get an apology, BUT the thing has the potential to bear fruit regardless.

i heard Ray Comfort say one time about debating atheist in a prime time format that

it's not about winning a debate, it was all about proclaiming the Gospel and

the atheist fools don't even realize that the platform is being given toward evangelism!

that is awesome! i look at blogging the same way...

you go at it a bit on whatever subject you happen to be discussing, but just remember to

pull back...survey the situation, realize that this person is lost.... maybe not elect...

and proclaim the truths of man's lost condition.

maybe they will respond in private, or maybe someone reading the thread will be convicted.

but at some point we MUST realize that we are dealing with dogs and swine.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I recently responded to a post that a wonderful brother in the Lord had on his myspace

i thought i would share that post here:

God is is not! His people have been bickering about this one for years!which often times tells me that no-one has cornered the market on this.i have witnessed debates where you would end up agreeing with whoever was speaking!i was saved during a burglary arrest in 1990. that night and the subsequent nights after, i went through a period of extreme repentance. to say i was overwhelmed by the flashing memories of all i'd done and the sinner i truly was is an understatement.before my conversion i had had dreams about God chasing me. i knew just enough about Him to fear Him! and that night i was arrested (rescued!) i gave my life to after that first full day in jail i wept with my face in my hands...then i prayed out loud in words i could not understand.this is the truth, and i know experience does not superceed scripture, but when His holy presence visited me in that place....i was never to be the same.when i relayed this story to the prison chaplain he became extatic.told me i was "baptised in the Spirit" upon my release from prison i ended up in a charismatic church. much of my theology was based on this type of stuff...i always new something was wrong, when i had heard preachers say "stand up and prophecyto the person on your left" or when i was "healed" from a bad back as they stretched my legi questioned many things.the last straw came for me last yeari became exposed to "reformed" teaching about 2 years ago.i even payed for and dragged my AG pastor to the true church conference in Muscle ShoalsAlabama 2007! upon our return i asked this Pastor if i could teach a class (up to this time i had been worship leader) he decided to have me teach on the beliefs of the assembly of God. one of the points on the list was the fact that they believe that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is evidenced my the speaking in tongues. i couldn't do it...i left the church shortly after that and i will never belong to another AG.i believe like the first post...i think God can overwhelm a person from time to time, and the responce to His presence can vary from person to person. but i do not think it is the norm.nor do i lean on this experience now....i am closer to Him now more than ever. though there are still times in my life when i am lost in prayer and find myself uttering in tongues.i think churches that focus on the gifts are wrong....and i think churches that say "NO WAY" to the gifts are wrong. the answer/balance is somewhere in between.that is why i am more comfortable in a church where they leave that up to the individual, but where the "gifts of the Spirit" on not in operation during a typical service

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

letter from Christopher Love

Christopher Love was a Presbyterian minister in London, England during the time of the English civil war. He was beheaded on August 22, 1651.
(An excerpt from a letter to his wife, on the morning of his execution)
My most gracious beloved,I am now going from a prison to a palace!I have finished my work. I am now to receive my wages. I am going to heaven! Rejoice in my joy. The joy of the Lord is my strength. O, let it be yours also! Dear wife, farewell! I will call you wife no more! I shall see your face no more! Yet I am not much troubled; for now I am going to meet the Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus Christ, to whom I shall be eternally married!
Your dying, yet most affectionate friend until death,Christopher Love, August 22, 1651, the day of my glorification!

Friday, July 25, 2008

drunken christians and prozac, zanax ECT!

Ephesians 5:1: And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit

I think most Christians agree that drunkenness is wrong. a sinful practice that leads to physical harm, destroys lives and families.
some may differ on consumption of alcohol being sinful. some say you should never drink....some say it's OK to drink, but not in excess....others still say that we have the grace to drink, but why do it? why drink in front of nonbelievers? some good discussions to be long as we don't divide.
so we all agree in one degree or another that over consumption of drugs is harmful, YET!!!

there is what i would consider to be an epidemic of Christians taking Psychotropic drugs. my unscientific survey results are 95% of christian (mostly women) are on something.
you can usually tell. My wife is funny, because she will generally ask to verify the obvious.
out of the 10-20 pastors we have met in the last couple years, almost all of them had wives that were on a prescribed mental health drug.

call me crazy (sorry for the pun) but "Houston....we have a problem!"
when you discuss this with these people it is also the same reply, "oh...i agree with you that
this type of thing is over diagnosed, but "OUR" situation is real" they all say it! it's an epidemic!
one pastor i know speaks of it as if it is an awesome testimony
"my wife Mary Lynn was always angry....would fight over the littlest things, would explode with temper, then praise God she was correctly diagnosed and healed with this medicine that she needs to take for the rest of her life" he also confided in me that you can tell within a day if she hadn't taken it. isn't that sad?
really? give me a break! did her anger issues have anything to do with how horrible a husband you are/were? maybe the years of you visiting strip clubs and your verbal abuse did some damage? maybe the Lord is trying to work out things in her life that are now suppressed.
this woman in was obvious in 5 minutes if meeting her that she is medicated.
nice lady, don't get me wrong, but in a drug induced state.

i have heard all the arguments..."your a diabetic and you need your's the same thing"

really? so if you lost your job and insurance how long would her health decline to the point of hospitalization? give me a break!
what about believers in 3rd world countries? how many of them "need" to be on zanax?
when the red cross or doctors go to these poverty stricken places, do you think they are carrying these type of drugs for emergency/long term health?
God gave man wisdom...He also gave us medicine, of that i am certain. and there are some people who may need to remain on certain drugs the rest of their lives (this is the open door everyone uses!) it must be the exception though (again...everyone on these drugs think they are that exception!) this fact SCREAMS!!! that it is a deception. PLEASE!!! if i am describing you

let the Lord work in your life, seek counsel from a godly brother or sister and ask Him to heal you. i must emphasize here though...DON'T TRY THIS ALONE!!! this is a burden too difficult to handle on your own. only if you are in fellowship with other beleivers or spouce who will come along side you to help should you seek to get off a medication
my wife is a great example of this. without getting into her hurtful past, she had/has issues in her life. when were first met she would have explosions of the point were she would strike me with closed fists! she had all these "saints" tell her to see a psychiatrist!!! can you believe that? what is wrong with us today? we would place the hurting souls of brothers and sisters in the hands of godless people (yea...i know all about the "christian" psychologists, that subject is for another blog entry!)

anyway... she resisted those people...resisted her doctors and complied with my request that she refrain from taking any of these medications.(again...i am not "anti-med") and God has done what He promised! (Phil 1:6)

is she perfect? no....does she need more healing? yes! she would never have what she has now if she gave in. what she has now is so glorious, so awesome because it is a work of the Holy Spirit in her life. why would a "Christian" want any less?

was it easy? it easy now? well, it is easier now than before and it continues to improve.
what is the outcome?
let's compare
1. with the meds, man gets the glory. man's wisdom has curtailed the problem of a behavioral issue
2. without the meds, God gets the glory! through prayer and counsel and the tenacity involved with crucifying the flesh...God works in the heart of a person. and they are truly changed

i know that this is maybe a little simplistic...maybe it needs to be?

i am just asking you....if you do indeed belong to Him ( i think that this is probably the main problem)
if you have repented and placed your trust in Jesus, then PLEASE!!! instead of convincing yourself that your one of the people who genuinely need this medication ask yourself if your not!
we all need to examine ourselves:
2 Corinthians 13:5: Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

this would be hard to do if you are in a drug induced fog....
please seek council... He can do it in your life if you let Him

during those dark times in my marriage, don't you think i was tempted to just tell my wife,
"please take something!!" i am the one who would have benefited from that! less arguing, more intimacy...but just as Christ is our husband and wants His best for His bride, we husbands need to be the same

Thursday, July 24, 2008

testimony time

i was thinking about testimonies today.

imagine the testimony of a martyr...(rev:12:11)

yet, when i hear and consider the testimonies of those who profess Christ they seem to follow a similar pattern or group.

why must people embellish their testimonies?

here is an example....before i was saved i was a criminal. i broke into houses and stole whatever i could carry. this was my life for around 4 years.

i could tell this in 2 ways:

1. i was a career expert at disabling alarms and knowing what to steal. people looked up to me and feared me because i was a dark, ominous individual. yes...i had it all, money so much money! girls, parties, drugs, was i the bomb! then God gotta hold of me!

2. i was a bum who couldn't hold a job for a couple years....i stole things from people when they weren't home. a 2 bit thief that would come into your home when you were gone and steal the ring your dead grandmother gave you...just to pawn it for 10-15 bucks so i could get a case of beer. then i finally got busted and put in jail where i belonged...during that arrest the Lord
showed me the darkness and depravity of my soul.

do you see the difference?

i went to the True Church Conference in Muscle Shoals Alabama last year. my former pastor accompanied me and i witnessed one of the worst examples of this, which is what originally got me to start noticing these things.
we were at a table with Don Currin and his lovely wife. i did not know who Don was at this time, for he is truly a humble man. when he mentioned that he was an evangelist i became excited and wanted to pick this guy's brain for at least an hour. some how my pastor dominated the conversation.... "i had a house this size once, the Lord had me downsize" "i was making so much money, i gave it up for the Lord" "my son was in a coma, because the Lord was calling me to serve Him"
i watched in horror as my new friends got up an buddy had no clue

as if we do God a favor by "choosing" Him instead of the world....
God saves us by showing us our sinfullness, not by hurting or killing our children
and He is not impressed by what we give up. WHO CARES????
if you are giving up your life, facing horrible persecution, or jailed for preaching the gospel
then we can talk.
PLEASE!!!! let's be honest...if you are saved, truly saved, it is because God
took a vile creature and recreated him...period.